Sometimes I think I know something, but more often than not these days, I don’t. I’m finding great ease in not knowing which is the total opposite of what I used to think. I remember as a child thinking that when I was an adult I would have opinions, but at that point I didn’t yet because I was still a kid. I remember working on developing opinions, and it paid off – but now I have way too many of them and I’m happily letting more and more of them go!
By watching my mind for so many years now, I’ve befriended impermanence and change. Stability in anything except awareness has gone out the wish list door which has made my life more full of ease. This is the sanity and ease of not knowing – being comfortable – not always liking, but being comfortable with change.
Meeting moments with some sort of fresh and open view is like living on a proverbial boogie board – our mental and emotional muscles get more accustomed to being still within movement and know to expect change. We settle less into complacency and dullness and stay more wakeful and bright. Freedom comes with the ability to not get hooked and pulled in a million directions at our (associatively patterned) minds whim. Freedom comes with the ability to be in the present and not knowing or assuming or deciding what will come next, but riding the proverbial waves of natural moment to moment change.
Kindness towards the mind that loves stability and constancy comes from a heart that is already inherently resilient. And our hearts can be coaxed back to being re-open to change as the way things are. This is where mind, heart and body are a fantastic team – each supporting each other as different instruments in the same orchestra. A little louder here, softer over there – not so fast here – to develop increased harmony and communication. These components of our whole being can support each other at various times and in many ways. We start with just noticing the “I know” mind, that might set off the nervous body pattern which can scare the heart into hiding.
Spiritual sanity is knowing that we don’t always know and then taking a seat in the wisdom of not knowing – even if that looks lame in some peoples eyes. Not claiming to be an expert or guru might not be the best marketing tool or way to brand oneself but it is what can keep us healthy and honest.
I’m all for being sane, open and more child-like in my non opinions when I can be. My brand may suffer (if I had one) but I sure won’t.
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